I really, really enjoy being with my kids. I think they are wonderful and I tell them so often.

I cherish these days.

Except when they are fighting or complaining, or screaming because they are a baby, or when all four are talking/yelling at me at once or when someone regresses in their sleep habits, or hits their brother….and then I don’t cherish that so much. That’s just hard. But hard isn’t always bad.

I told my husband recently that within an hour’s time during the day with our children I can go from a euphoric, “Life couldn’t get any better than this!” to a despairing, “How am I going to survive this?!” and they are both completely legitimate and true feelings in the moment. Anyone relate?

I know, it’s a season. Babies don’t keep. The mealtime manners will improve and they will one day want to get up at noon rather than 5:15am, and perhaps they’ll even do their own laundry.

My husband did the bedtime routine with all the kids the other night because he is my hero, and I went out running.

The lyrics to this song as I ran were so good after a difficult stretch of afternoon with a couple of my little ones. I wasn’t upset with them, I was frustrated with my own heart’s response to them. (click play for song)

"Here's my heart Lord

Speak what is true

'Cause I am found,

I am Yours

I am loved,

I'm made pure

I have life,

I can breathe

I am healed,

I am free

Here's my heart Lord

Speak what is true"

And I remembered once again that I don’t want to just survive through a season with hopes of something easier in the future. Seasons ebb and flow and come and go but there is no promise that while I’m here on earth that I will move into an easy, smooth-sailing stretch. Some things will get easier, but other things will become more difficult.

Since my older boys were very little I have quoted these words from Jesus, “I have told you these things so that in me you will have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart. I have overcome the world.”

There’s no keeping them from hardship, so I want them to know where to go when it comes.

I can offer God each day, each moment. Here’s my heart Lord. Speak what is true.

These foundations remain unchanging and, at the end of the day, it’s really all I need: I am found, I am yours, I am loved, I’m made pure.

I have life, I have can breathe, I am healed, I am free.

And the even more encouraging piece for me is next in the song:

“Cause YOU are strong, You are sure

You are life, You endure

You are good, always true

You are light breaking through.”

That’s powerful. God is unchanging, with love more faithful than the rising sun.

So, be it a season, or just be it life, I find the best and truest peace and rest and JOY only in Him, despite the circumstance. And that’s a lot more comforting to me than waiting around for the season to change.

P.S. Did I mention my husband is my hero? He is. Marriage isn't perfect. It is sacrifice and humility and apologizing and forgiveness. Over and over. And there is no one else in the world I'd rather do all this with. We only grow closer as we navigate these ever-changing seasons together. I love life with him.