The Art of Hidden Work

Imagine all the hard-working people it took to construct this gorgeous old church... those who were visible every day with hammer and nails, and those who were working behind-the-scenes to make the work possible.

We stumbled upon it while traveling out in the country on Mother's Day, perched on sloping fields with serene views. According to the sign, German settlers built it 100 years ago.

I love discovering hidden gems and getting a glimpse into their history. Same with people-- I'm so encouraged by stories of those who serve and love diligently and faithfully outside of the spotlight.

Inside that church, I'm sure they read the same verse that I've had posted in my kitchen for several weeks now: "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."

The essence of mothering is laying down our lives. And I am more and more convinced that this is true: A life poured out is a life filled up.

We are often scared of hidden work because we fear no one will see us, know our struggles, understand our sacrifice.

There is no doubt a time and place for the spotlight, but I think we might be surprised one day to find that perhaps the best rewards are earned behind-the-scenes. It feels hidden, but someone always sees. Always. (see Matthew 6:1-3)

Behind-the-scenes service is beautiful and significant, especially in an age where we're tempted to post and share every good deed we do.

I think of my own Mom (pictured here with baby me), and her years and years of behind-the-scenes work. That is priceless to me. She's lived sacrificially and always present for her children. She has never been one seeking the spotlight, but humbly serving where she's needed. That has been such a gift for her children to see. I've seen her honored by others throughout the years, not because she has ever promoted herself, but because others see the hidden work, and they see the fruits of her labor.

For all who are living behind-the-scenes (mothers or not!), working hard, serving, loving with all your heart... keep moving forward in Joy and rest in Peace. You are seen.

When “It’s just a season” Doesn't Cut It

I really, really enjoy being with my kids. I think they are wonderful and I tell them so often.

I cherish these days.

Except when they are fighting or complaining, or screaming because they are a baby, or when all four are talking/yelling at me at once or when someone regresses in their sleep habits, or hits their brother….and then I don’t cherish that so much. That’s just hard. But hard isn’t always bad.

I told my husband recently that within an hour’s time during the day with our children I can go from a euphoric, “Life couldn’t get any better than this!” to a despairing, “How am I going to survive this?!” and they are both completely legitimate and true feelings in the moment. Anyone relate?

I know, it’s a season. Babies don’t keep. The mealtime manners will improve and they will one day want to get up at noon rather than 5:15am, and perhaps they’ll even do their own laundry.

My husband did the bedtime routine with all the kids the other night because he is my hero, and I went out running.

The lyrics to this song as I ran were so good after a difficult stretch of afternoon with a couple of my little ones. I wasn’t upset with them, I was frustrated with my own heart’s response to them. (click play for song)

"Here's my heart Lord

Speak what is true

'Cause I am found,

I am Yours

I am loved,

I'm made pure

I have life,

I can breathe

I am healed,

I am free

Here's my heart Lord

Here's my heart Lord

Here's my heart Lord

Speak what is true"

And I remembered once again that I don’t want to just survive through a season with hopes of something easier in the future. Seasons ebb and flow and come and go but there is no promise that while I’m here on earth that I will move into an easy, smooth-sailing stretch. Some things will get easier, but other things will become more difficult.

Since my older boys were very little I have quoted these words from Jesus, “I have told you these things so that in me you will have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart. I have overcome the world.”

There’s no keeping them from hardship, so I want them to know where to go when it comes.

I can offer God each day, each moment. Here’s my heart Lord. Speak what is true.

These foundations remain unchanging and, at the end of the day, it’s really all I need: I am found, I am yours, I am loved, I’m made pure.

I have life, I have can breathe, I am healed, I am free.

And the even more encouraging piece for me is next in the song:

“Cause YOU are strong, You are sure

You are life, You endure

You are good, always true

You are light breaking through.”

That’s powerful. God is unchanging, with love more faithful than the rising sun.

So, be it a season, or just be it life, I find the best and truest peace and rest and JOY only in Him, despite the circumstance. And that’s a lot more comforting to me than waiting around for the season to change.

P.S. Did I mention my husband is my hero? He is. Marriage isn't perfect. It is sacrifice and humility and apologizing and forgiveness. Over and over. And there is no one else in the world I'd rather do all this with. We only grow closer as we navigate these ever-changing seasons together. I love life with him.

Don't Reject the Significant for the Sensational

We've added a fourth child to our family since I last wrote in July, hence the reason I haven't written.

Life with four little ones under five is fantastic and challenging and insane and a dream come true. However, I haven't figured out how to "do it all," nor do I intend to. So a good number of things, like writing, move to the back burner while I press in here and focus on the items high on my priority list. 

To have the opportunity to raise our little blend of biological, adopted, and currently fostered children (a true coming-together of several hopes and passions) is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and my commitment to running this stretch of my race well only intensifies with time. 

Of course, I fall short of "well" every day, and occasionally hide in a locked bathroom. My days are far from glamorous. But glamor is for the birds. Give me fortitude and perseverance and patience. 

My husband and I have a mantra: Don't reject the significant for the sensational. 

When days (or nights) are spent on this work that feels tiresome, repetitive, meaningless, and totally unnoticed, there's this unique opportunity to see a gift. There is great value and beauty in the humble and small things in this life. 

And of course, the real truth is that the work of raising tiny humans to grow into kind, brave, compassionate, thoughtful, engaged adults (Lord-willing) is not at all a small thing. It's not menial work below an education level or pay-grade.

As I write, heated times are escalating in our Nation. Yet I believe hate is combated when we each steward well that which is entrusted to us by promoting and exemplifying love. I am committed to dedicating significant effort towards raising children who pursue compassion, look for the needy, sit with the hurting, live generously, and default to seeing others' worth.

And if those lessons begin with my example before them- in the changing of diapers, rocking away tears, listening empathetically to fears, apologizing when I'm wrong, welcoming folks into our home, and serving up yet another meal- then I commit to persevering with constant prayers for strength, finding the joy that is promised in the midst of it all.

I will no doubt look back on this season as an exhausting and rigorous one, yet one so uniquely full of beauty, depth, and growth. I may feel like I daily reach 'empty,' but the Lord is always, always faithful to sustain me, fill me, and strengthen me again.